February 2012
2 posts
Happy Valentine's Day!
Today, I’m proud to say that I overcame one of my biggest fears. I woke up this morning exhausted, but confident in the material that I studied. My bio exam was great and easy. I know I didn’t do well in Chem, but the way I see this situation is a lot more different than how I normally do. Rather than crying and stressing, I look at this as an opportunity to improve myself for the next...
God has a plan for us all, but I wish he could take this pain away
January 2012
4 posts
MOTIVATED MOTIVATED MOTIVATED.
It’s amazing how changing your perspective on something can change EVERYTHING about a situation. I’m so grateful for family and friends that continue to pick me up and poke me when I’m acting silly
<3
The beginning of my journey
I’ve got exactly 68 days ‘til Spring Break & 112 days ‘til SUMMER. I know I’ll get slapped for saying this, but my ULTIMATE GOAL is to get the dream body I’ve always wanted - turning the ‘fat’ that I have into pure MUSCLE. Not only that, but I’m doing this for MY health. I’ve always been hypoglycemic, but the other week at the grocery...
Sometimes a good cry is all you need to feel better.
I don’t cry or vent to people as much as I used to, but I this past year proved that you can only depend on yourself. The things my mom said last night were hurtful, but it really shouldn’t be a surprise to me anymore. Putting my 2 weeks tomorrow. Gotta stay focus.
December 2011
12 posts
2011 Reflection
Since practically everyone’s doing this, thought I’d give it a shot & add in my spill of whirlwind emotions that have been going through my head all day:
January-May Broke up w/ Andy & ended up being emotionally depressed/confused. ON TOP OF THAT, found out I did not receive a slot for Field Training and ended up leaving the program, alongside my millennium scholarship because...
Although I got my tonsils removed, I still had the energy to check my grades & all I could do was break down and cry.
3.4 points away from a B.
I cried, not because I knew of all the hard work. I didn’t cry because I was worried. I cried because I knew all the harsh criticism that awaited me from my mom & everyone else… It kills me every time when my mom says, “I...
“You’re stressing just to stress out Lyss, just chill” - probably the best advice from one of my best friends, whom I haven’t talked to in so long.
This year we’ve all been submersed in books and schoolwork, but it’s those that understand the hard work that you put into your goals are the ones that are worth holding on to.
I’ll finish this blog later....
To-Do: LIFE
[ ] GRADUATE COLLEGE [ ] go on a road trip (with me driving) [ ] go to a concert [ ] get my master’s in nursing [ ] be licensed to ride a motorcycle [ ] join the military [ ] become a nurse practitioner/nurse anesthetist [ ] volunteer at a local high school [ ] inspire someone [ ] live in the east coast [ ] learn to speak TAGALOG/ILOCANO (fluently) [ ] learn to speak spanish [ ] live in...
asdfjkl;BLAH!
I’ve been in the same damn funk ever since I got into college.
I’ve ALWAYS been a perfectionist & when the going got tough, I’d cry & kick ass at the end. This time, however, the going is tough, and as much as I want to cry…I just lost the drive to “kick ass” and pull through. Not only did I let my mom down (being that she graduated Magna Cum Laude,...
Reminder!
- Finish Piano essay #3
- Start Eight-Line Analysis
- Study Labs 10/11 of Reproductive System
- Review for English Final
- Chem tutoring on Wednesday
- Complete Chem HOMEWORK
- Study for Bio
FML. All this before my tonsillectomy on 12/15. BLAHHH. & the only thing on my mind is a good work out.
Que sera, sera: I hate society's perceptions of... →
supermanns:
In fact, I hate it so much that I jumped out of bed even though I’m exhausted with a throbbing headache. The story of this rant began as I sat through an entire episode of E’s Scouted. “She isn’t tall enough,” “her body is off,” “her eyes are weird,” “she does not have the right proportions,”…
November 2011
6 posts
10 tags
Father, be good to your daughters too.
Tonight, a very close friend of mine will be meeting her father for the first time in twenty years. I felt the same feelings when I flew to Seattle about a month ago to meet up with my dad after three years of being apart. We’ll always love our mothers because they’ve sacrificed so much for us - and in our (my friend and I) case, our mothers raised us single handedly. However, growing...
A heated discussion.
Just got off the phone with Andy & I had to blog about this ‘heated discussion’ we had. All was well ‘til a couple of names were brought into the subject.
I guess letting go of the past is one thing I will die trying because it’s something I grew up learning. In my experiences, I’ve learned to categorize my acquaintances and my friends. Let’s just say that...
Thanksgiving Holiday is near, which means...
Stepdad’s leaving out of town next week to see mom & the first thing that popped up into my mind (other than how am I going to feed myself) is who’s going to keep me company?! I wan’t someone that’s DTC, cook dinner, and watch movies with me :) Any takers?
Other than that, I LOVE the holidays. This year may be an exception only because it’s the first year the...
Veteran's Day 11/11/11
Words cannot express how grateful I am to have parents that have served/are serving this country. Growing up as a military kid, I started off with the Navy - always admired my father’s all-white uniform, the smell of the sea every time we sent him off for his tours. However, I never understood the value of our military growing up. I always blamed the military for tearing our family apart;...
"11/11/11 is also veterans day. Before you start...
October 2011
2 posts
15OCT2011
The past couple of weeks have been exhausting: late nights (attempting) to study, work, and day-to-day tasks at home (that I try to accomplish). I’ve realized that lately I’ve been too focused in ‘fitting in’ rather than focusing on the bigger picture: MY education. Knowing that I study better on my own without any distractions is probably something I should’ve...
Bleh.
I’m surrounded by family and friends that love me, but why do I still feel so alone?
September 2011
1 post
July 2011
3 posts
Miracles do happen.
Late post, but: I (barely) passed the class with a B & words cannot express how GRATEFUL I am. All the stress and late nights of studying was well worth it, and I’m glad all my hard work paid off. One thing that I’m taking out of this experience is that from this point on (starting this coming fall semester) I shall:
1. Be MORE organized.
2. Read AHEAD & take notes.
3....
8July11
I know God puts us through struggles for all sorts of reasons, but I thought good things happen to good people? I look/feel/sound like a madman right about now…over ONE class. Not many people may understand when I say “This class determines my future,” but it determines where the hell I’ll be next semester, or even a year from now. If I can’t even pass a basic 200...
Final Countdown
Last week of summer school & I’m ridiculously nervous because this class determines whether or not I’ll be finishing up at UNLV or transferring to CSN for the fall. The standards for the nursing program here are ridiculous, but life’s a competition and always will be (unfortunately). It’s hard to have the confidence in myself when my sole supporter (my mother)...
June 2011
1 post
060111
As much as I would want to blog every perfect detail of last night, I simply can’t because last night cannot be described in words. I’m anxious to see where all this goes, but for now I’m just ridin’ with the current.
May 2011
9 posts
Late Night Drive on the 95
I don’t know why, but for some reason but my “deepest darkest thoughts” tend to come about in one of the following scenarios: a) shower; b) driving; c) in bed; d) pooping. Thankfully, option d) isn’t quite so often since I’m normally reading something, which leaves no time for thinking, but on the real - tonight option b filled my mind.
Driving down the 95, memories...
Talk is cheeeaaaaaap!
As forgiving as I seem to be, it seems like this time I’m not letting things slip through my fingers so easily & I’m perfectly fine with that. Regardless of the amount of “sappy shit” you tell me - and as much as it all sounds like music to my ears - talk is cheap. Crying? Let’s think about all the times I’ve cried and that will show you what waterworks...
Senior Awards Night
Tonight was my brother’s senior awards night and before I continue with this post, I would just like to say how unbelievably proud I am of my baby brother. I can’t help but fill this post with constant “It seems like it was only yesterday” sentences because this night is simply a night to reminisce & that’s exactly what I did. It seems like it was only yesterday,...
Swoosh
Guess who’s employed by Nike once again? Well…this time Nike Factory South Store. lol. I don’t even remember applying, that’s the sad part. FML. I don’t need to work, nor do I want to - but I need to keep myself busy this summer other than bio. Why not make money to waste time? I need to CHALLENGE myself: physically AND mentally. Granted, the only thing on my mind is...
When A Stranger Calls
Something I never expected would be the phone call I had last night.
My habit of answering the phone without impulse or checking the caller ID, but I answered and didn’t even recognized who it was ‘til I was told. I instantly woke up. Shock. Surprised. Confused. “Why is he calling me? At this hour?” So many questions running through my mind, and until now I’m not...
Yeah, buddy rollin' in the FRIEND ZONE
Crushin’ on someone and not too sure what to think of it? Uncertain whether or not you’re just as crush-worthy or simply stuck in the - dramatic pause - friend zone. Before I continue, what exactly ‘defines’ the boundaries of friend and possible interest? Well, Chris Rock said it perfectly in this good ‘ol phrase:
“You know one cool thing about women, women get...
“you may not be her first, her last, or her only. she loved before she may love...”
– bob marley (via raeoflight)
Dear Tumblr: Sorry I abandoned you!
I’ve been wanting to say so many things to you, but I haven’t been able to transfer my thoughts onto my fingertips. I’ve spent at least 30 min each day staring at my keyboard, knowing what I’ve been wanting to write, but uncertain of what words to use to provide the right effect.
OVERALL, life has been great. Despite my lack of sleep...
April 2011
4 posts
What’s the use of studying when I’m retaking the damn class? Lesson learned, but the anticipation is killing me.
Breezies on the road.
Waking up this morning was probably the best feeling I’ve felt in a very long time. With the weight of the past six years off my shoulders, I’m taking the first step of recovery today at 1 PM. Anxious, nervous, excited, scared - but prepared for this now, more than ever. Conversations with my best friends last night about life, how we got to this point, and how our friendships have...
Dear Alyssa,
I’m so proud of the woman that you’re becoming. I know times have been tough lately, not sure where you’re going and all, but the first step to all this is acceptance & realization. Once you get over this hump, you can start over; start fresh. Start on that clean slate you’ve been talking about. Your heart is whole, once again; your heart is rightfully...
First step to greatness: Self-Realization
I don’t have much to complain about (weird, right?), except the fact that I don’t expect much out of myself at the end of the semester. Truth is: I MESSED UP. People can blame their teachers, their work schedule, their life when in reality the only one to blame is themselves. Which is why - despite the outcome of this semester - I’m starting off on a clean slate. A NEW me; a...
March 2011
23 posts
And I...
..didn’t make it.
Found out yesterday. I honestly thought I had a good chance, but hey - the competition’s fierce this year & I applaud all those that got accepted (excluding the slug that does not deserve to go…UGH!).
I’m not going to go through the whole “coulda, woulda, shoulda” bull because it’s not going to get me anywhere. The only thing I can...
2 More Days
Two more days ‘til we find out who made it & who didn’t. It’s crazy because this wait is mentally affecting everyone, including one of my close buds in the program. She’s going through a tough time & the only thing I can do is offer a shoulder to lean on. I wish all of us could go, but unfortunately the demand is low therefore competition is fierce this year.
But...
You know what really bugs me?
brooklyntovegas:
When people ask, on any random weeknight, “What are you doing tonight?”
Bitch! Homework and sleeping? It’s a school night, I’m still a student, and I don’t give a fuck about going out. Just because you go out and get fucked up on the regular every Wednesday doesn’t mean my lazy ass is about to do so as well.
Aw :) lol. Brooklyn, you’re too cute.
Blue
Life cannot bestow on anyone a more gratifying reward than the sincere appreciation & trust of a Blue friend, employer, or family member.
While working on my workshop with JR, I completed the personality test that we’re having our students do. I’m sure there are various personality test out there (legit or not), but this one just came down to the T with me. There are four colors:...
Day 9 - Two things you wish you could do
1. I wish I could graduate already.
2. I wish I could be loved.